An A-Type Personality

She may be the youngest and half as tall as other family members, but she’s got more spunk than everyone else put together. She’s also gotten more spankings than everyone else put together, but that’s another story. She’s bright, creative, strong-willed, and perfectionistic. We figure she must have been some kind of royalty before she came here to earth because ordering the rest of us peasants around comes so naturally to her. So does avoiding anything that resembles work. Often, we wonder who she was before she was born to a family of comparative paupers.

There’s also a strange dichotomy in her personality too. She can fit and tantrum and be defiant at home, yet she’s too embarrassed to sing, perform, or sometimes even pray in front of her own family. At school, she’s a model student, absolutely compliant, and eager to help. And as we discovered to our astonishment this week, she doesn’t even get nervous performing in front of friends and strangers. Go figure.

This little girl has certainly taught me a lot about parenting. Something every mother with more than one child knows is that what works for child A is not necessarily effective on child B. In my case, the various tactics that worked on C, J, E and E don’t usually work at all on child A. She’s completely her own person. And I’ve learned to love her all the more even after being told “I hate you” and “you’re the worst mommy” more times than I can possibly count. Of course she never means it, and when she comes to her senses again, I’m rewarded with multiple hugs, kisses, and “I love you more than anything” expressions. In those moments I can think “maybe I don’t need to seek out a social therapist after all.”

We got to spend a lot of time together this week. I went to every one of her third-grade class play performances, spent two sick days looking out for her at home, and finally gave her the haircut (albeit a poor one) she’s been asking for. There’s a sweet side to my baby girl that runs deep, and when it surfaces, her inner goodness is beautifully rewarding. I hear things like “thank you for staying home with me” “will you please…” and “I love you my wonderful mommy.” She’s also very giving when the mood hits her, having recently bagged up a half-dozen favorite stuffed animals for an Eagle project donation and cutting off an extra two inches of hair more than she planned to so she could donate it.

I wonder who she’ll grow up to be. Is her willfulness going to stand in the way of her progress? The question arises frequently, and yet in my heart I don’t think so. If her drive and determination is turned in the right direction, she could change the world. She just needs enough unconditional love and gentle teaching to decide to take that path on her own. And we’re making progress. If not, I wouldn’t have received the response I did when I read this to her and asked permission to post it: “You always write things about me that are annoying, but I don’t mind.”

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