My second grade daughter had been studying oceans at school. Every May, about two weeks before the end of the school year, all the classes set up presentations of special projects they’ve been working on to show their parents at the annual “Share Fair.” Her teacher did not assign much homework throughout the year, but there were two special things she had to do at home as part of the research she had to do on her assigned animal, the Angelfish. Part I was an “Incredible Edible” version of her animal, and Part II was a costume that would make her look like the animal. I know what you’re thinking here…just bear with me on this one.
Two of my other children had this particular teacher before, so I knew the ropes. Unfortunately, the seven-year old I was working with this time did not. And she’s a lot more demanding and high-strung. And extremely perfectionistic. Did I mention that she’s also quite independent? Our trip to the grocery store for “incredible edible” materials was interesting. She had a certain idea in mind. So did I. She wanted to create something that was an exact replica of the picture in her head. I had only the thought to get out of there spending $4 or less. After much frustration and discussion back and forth, I convinced her that striped fruit roll-ups really would make acceptable angelfish replicas. She insisted that she needed multi-colored licorice to make her fish. I bought both (barely within my price range)and dragged her out of the store before she could change her mind.
At the risk of looking like the type of parent who turns everything into a Mom project so it looks perfect, let me qualify here that this is never the case with me. My preference is always to let the child take over and make it their project. The more imperfect it is, the more it evidences that they really did it themselves. The more perfect it is, the more I am impressed with their growth—that which comes with experience. But I do know that with this one, if there isn’t a little guidance up front, she’ll never even start.
Back at home, she looked disgusted with my idea to simply cut the fruit rolls into the shape of fish.
“But they’re too flat.”
“Angel fish are flat.”
“Not that flat.”
“What if we give them a little dimension by making their fins and eyes pop out a little?”
“No.”
“Can we just try one and see what you think?”
“Oh…OK”
One was all it took to convince her, especially since I was more than willing to let her have at it with the kitchen scissors to finish the rest with the paper stencil I’d made. Besides, she got to eat the scraps. And she found a use for her colored licorice that was an even more brilliant addition than trying to shape and structure them into fish. To her credit, she did almost all of it herself. Whew! Part one down, now for the hardest one to go.
I forgot who I was dealing with.
“But Mom, that’s not exactly the right color.”
“Don’t Angelfish come in lots of different colors?”
“I want it to look just like that that one” she wailed, pointing to the image she’d pulled up on Google.
“Honey, I think that’s going to be just a little complicated to make every bump and stripe look just like that.”
“Hmmmph.” She folded her arms and stomped her feet and pouted “I HATE this! It's going to look so stupid!”
“Let’s just start with the shape of the fish and go from there, please.”
“Fine.” She laid down reluctantly on the paper (“…it’s getting all wrinkled…”) while I cut around her. Then I started cutting stripes. So long as they were a little wavy, she was willing to let me keep going, but with a scowl on her face the whole time. When we taped the stripes to the main body, I had to keep cutting, shaping, and adjusting until it met her critical eye. (Why couldn’t we have had the one-color seahorse again I wondered.)
I’ll spare you the details of how the rest of the fish got put together, how it didn’t fit right, how she needed to be able to duck her head in, how it needed fins to cover her arms, how she didn’t like them when they were done, and how we finally left the house with five minutes to spare. I was utterly spent and she was borderline happy with the result.
Until she arrived in her classroom and everyone told her how amazing she looked. Suddenly the whole process was successful. But she wouldn’t hear it from me.
http://intuitivehomemaking.blogspot.com/
You know, I could day something here about arguing with a seven-year-old, but... knowing the circumstances like I do, I'll just compliment you for handling a very complicated client so well. Nice job, Liz!
ReplyDeleteVery cool post Liz. And, very darling projects I might add. I love your honesty, and your willingness to express your emotions (frustration, anger, love) toward Anna whom we all know and love.
ReplyDeletelove it-- oh these projects-- as teachers they sound so fun to assign and the outcomes are amazing-- but ohhhhh as a parent the paint and torture...
ReplyDelete