The year 2009 was one of tremendous growth and introspection for me. So many of the circumstances and situations I found myself a part of caused me to dig deeper and try to understand why I think the way I think, why I feel the way I feel, and why I do the things I do. I still don’t have all the answers. In fact, I feel like I’ve just scratched the surface, but one realization I had this weekend has propelled me into a greater depth of self-discovery.
I’ve always had a love for scrapbooking, card making, sewing, and other visual-type home arts. But I’ve never paused to think about why. While talking with John about a new project or two that I was just starting up, I found myself feeling so excited about them and speaking with a greater passion for what I was doing than I have had in a very long time. I can’t quote myself perfectly, and these thoughts have had more time to distill since then, but essentially, here is what I discovered.
What I really love is the process of taking raw materials and shaping them into something of value. It’s exciting to look at a length of fabric and think of all the possibilities of what I can make from it. I love to start with a blank Aida cloth and a few dozen skeins of embroidery floss and shape a cross-stitched picture from it. I delight in taking a stack of pictures and an assortment of papers and arrange them into something that enhances the memory associated with them. It’s the process of creating that is often just as fulfilling than the actual finished product.
As intrinsically rewarding as creating is, the thing that enhances the completed project’s worth is when I am not doing it solely for my own benefit. I find myself thinking throughout the process “my daughter is going to love this new dress for her doll” or “I hope Sister Smith enjoys this baby blanket” or “John and the kids will really like this scrapbook” or “everyone is going to love these cookies,” then when they do, I feel fulfilled. Whether or not my daughter ends up using the doll dress every day matters less to me than the first smile it puts on her face. Perhaps that scrapbook will gather more dust than attention, but if it provides my family the chance to relive the memory just once, it was worth the effort.
I don’t think it was mere coincidence that I heard three different talks on talents today. It was a blessing to know that I have talents that I’ve worked hard to develop and that the Lord has helped me to increase them. It was also a reminder that there are things I used to spend a lot of time on that I virtually don’t do at all now. I have lost a significant portion of what I had because those things which we neglect will eventually disappear from our lives. I also have a hope that things I haven’t learned to do yet are not entirely out of reach if I’m willing to spend a portion of my time on them to learn.
So what good is all of this introspection? By recognizing that there’s a pattern—a common thread—that is woven through all of my hobbies and interests, it gives me clearer direction to move forward. I feel less selfish spending time doing the things I love to do and more purposeful in doing them. If I decide to reclaim lost talents or develop new ones, I will better be able to enjoy them if I can apply to them the principle I learned about myself—that I love process as much as product and the joy of bringing satisfaction to others. Then the journey is just as delightful as the destination.
http://intuitivehomemaking.blogspot.com/
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Ditto. Ditto, ditto, ditto! I'll tell you what I have recently realized: I am an artist! I used to think, I'm not an artist. I never took an art class. I can't draw (You, on the other hand, I remember that you were a fantastic artist), so I'm not an artist. Now I'm looking at the quilts I sew and all the articles of clothing I have created, and guess what: They're works of art. Sure, I start out with a pattern, but they always evolve into something even more wonderful. I seem to have a knack for colors and patterns. I wasn't always this good at it, but I've been an artist all along, and I'm just now realizing it. I was just telling my daughter yesterday how great it feels to make something from nothing. Well, OK, to make something from $9/yard gorgeous Moda!
ReplyDeleteTawna, that is so amazing. What great insight. Art is not always pencil or paint, but the end result of creativity of any kind. Thanks so much for sharing. I wish we lived closer so I could see the art you create.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear President Uchdorf's talk in Women's Conference about creating? He said that we were daughters of the most creative being in the Universe and that creating (and he wasn't just talking about making babies) and compassion will bring us the most joy. After I heard that, I began writing again. I've written 2.5 novels since that talk. They have brought me so much joy, and kept me sane and attatched to "Fiona" as I have journeyed through Mommyland. I've also started playing the guitar and piano again. Nothing makes my kids want to practice piano more than hearing their mother play. It's almost as if showing my talents to them makes them want to develop some of their own. My little girl likes to make up stories like mommy does. Create, honey! Create!
ReplyDeleteThat's fantastic Fiona! What a great thing to pass on to your children--the love of creating. (same with you Tawna)
ReplyDeleteI also love that talk and it has been a great inspiration for me. So much so that I linked it in one of my very first posts("Patience is a Virtue, Right?").